Why I go to my men’s circle every week.
Each week about 12 men come together. Exactly at 5:30 p.m. the door closes. The chairman asks that everyone confirm confidentiality. What happens or is said here stays here. Everyone raises their hand. A solemn beginning to an evening with the men.
A Band of Brothers – ABOB – in short, is not the 2001 TV mini-series, but the English group of volunteers, supporting men who have been in touch with the justice system. Our group is a branch of that, but in La Alpujarra, Spain. Here it is a bit different. We don’t have ties with the justice system here in Spain.
An important part of the circle is sharing, sharing what’s on my mind right now, how I’m feeling. My thoughts, frustrations, fears ánd your victories. Not so much how my week was, more how I am feeling NOW. If I am not sharing, I am listening attentively, without judgment, without filling in anything.
After this round, we close our eyes and feel if something is stirring. ‘If something is cooking’ or if, on the contrary, you feel nothing at all. The one who is ‘cooking’ the most is invited to the center of the circle, to see what is going on. What follows most closely resembles a family constellation. Wonderful, often moving work.
Every week what is shared touches something inside me. Week after week I realize that we men have more similarities than differences. Every week again I learn to feel more clearly what is going on in me and to express it.
I haven’t lived here long, yet I now know a group of men I can build on. Guys who share their most intimate feelings with each other. Guys who can rely on each other, who are ready for each other. All of them wonderful men I have come to love. Brothers. That’s why I go to my men’s circle every week.
Thanks to Rene for introducing me. Thanks to Adrian & Ceri for opening the door of The house of light every week for our circle. Namaste.